I Want a Divorce!

Same Sad Story

You know the routine.  You and your spouse begin bickering over something minor.  It’s stupid really (volume of the TV, dishes, etc.) but it opens the floodgates and the real fight is on.

This is the fight that has been brewing under the surface like magma waiting for a volcano to lose it’s top.  Statistically, your fight will involve money.

Someone’s ego gets hurt and in that moment of pain, they blurt out, “I Want a Divorce!”  Words like that can’t be taken back like a bell can’t be unrung.

Now What?

This is the fork in the road where you both either take some time to cool down and realize how stupid the fight was in the first place, or you realize that your marriage has been in serious trouble for awhile now and you’ve both been afraid to admit it.

Sometimes, at this point the couple begins a frank discussion about the best way to get divorced in the same manner that a CEO would discuss selling a branch of the company.  In these potential divorce discussions, there is a common thread of matters to be considered.

Considerations in Preparing for Divorce

A divorce effectively takes one home and divides it into two.  Everything should be considered for division if anticipating a divorce, (retirement benefits, alimony, health insurance, etc.) but there are a few things that need extra consideration.

These considerations can be listed under three categories: Children, Finances, and Property.

Property

You need to grab a sheet of paper (yes they still make the stuff) and draw a line right down the middle; one side for each of you.  At the top, write “Separate Property” and list the things that you and your spouse owned before marriage, gifts, inheritance, etc.  These things aren’t to be considered for division, but what isn’t Separate is Community Property and divided.

Children

Everyone’s first instinct is to demand custody of the children.  Unfortunately, some parents vie for custody simply as a bargaining chip to use against the other parent.  Discard any thoughts about what you want and spend your time discussing what’s best for them.

Finances

Dividing the finances (debt, savings, income) is usually quite tricky because very often there is only one spouse is working. In your discussions, consider dividing things fairly instead of dividing them equally. 

If after all of this you still want a divorce, now you’re ready to talk with an attorney.

--Authored by Matthew L. Harris, Esq.,

Matthew Harris Law, PLLC  - Family Law Division

1001 Main Street, Suite 806, Lubbock, Texas, 79401-3322

Tel: (806) 702-4852 | Fax: (806) 576-1318

Attorney@MatthewHarrisLaw.com 

You're a Fairy Godparent?

The Fairy Godparents

In the best bedtime stories, the children in distress are saved by their Fairy Godmother, but few people realize that Fairy Godparents still exist today.

When I say they exist, I mean that they don't exist.  But what I really mean is that most people who consider themselves to be "godparents" aren't really godparents under the eyes of the law; therefore, they might as well be fictional.

What is a Godparent?

As the name implies, a godparent has traditionally been a person designated to ensure a child's religious upbringing.  Today, the godparent role isn't restricted to religious upbringing, but the godparent is referred to as the person trusted to care for the child should he/she become orphaned. 

What most people actually mean when discussing godparents is a legal guardian.  For today's discussion, we're going to focus on a godparent protecting and caring for the orphaned child as a legal guardian.

Appointing Godparents

Upon the arrival of a bundle of joy, after picking out a name, one of the first conversations between the new parents involves picking out godparents to take care of the new arrival, "in case something happens."  Sometimes they even go as far as telling the desired godparent of their new role.

In the event that "something happens," how much legal weight do you think a Court gives to the godparents simply telling the judge that the child's parents announced the godparents' new role at a barbecue several years ago?

Preserving the Choice of Godparents

You already know the best way to preserve your desires; put it in writing.  If you are contemplating writing a Will, then  it is common to include a provision appointing the godparents as legal guardians upon your demise if your spouse does not outlive you.

If you do not have a Will, you're not prevented from naming a godparent as your child's legal guardian.  You can appoint your choice of godparent as your child's legal guardian in a separate document.  We're not talking about ending your parental rights or anything because this document wouldn't take effect unless you and your spouse passed away.

Take Action Now

As a parent, I know that the most important responsibility is to protect your child.  If you haven't taken steps to preserve your choice for godparent/legal guardian, then the Court will make that decision for you after you're gone.

Don't wait to take the necessary steps to protect your children because you may not have another chance.  If you need help with the legal formalities of drafting the document of your decision, then contact your attorney.

--Authored by Matthew L. Harris, Esq.,

Matthew Harris Law - Estate Management & Family Law Divisions

1001 Main Street, Suite 806, Lubbock, Texas, 79401-3322, 

Attorney@MatthewHarrisLaw.com

(806) 702-4852 

www.MatthewHarrisLaw.com